Dear Parents,
I’m a mother of two young adults (a boy and a girl, or I should say, a man and a woman!) who are perfectly imperfect. Each of my children are very different from the other. My son has always been outgoing and super funny; my daughter has always been shy, introspective and artistic. But aside from those differences, I can say they are both problem solvers. Each one of them, having experienced loss, heartbreak, disappointment and challenges has learned to be resilient, to figure things out, to discuss concerns and problems in a logical matter. Yes, there have been many mistakes, lol, and sadly, tears.
I’m writing this letter to you today not only as a mom, but as a retired educator. What I see around me now, no matter what your political leanings or opinions, has been disheartening. I see young people relying on social media for opinions and following trends like sheep with no concept of the consequences and ramifications of their actions. Their critical thinking skills are sorely lacking and in some cases, non-existent. Consequently, their words and actions can be cruel and inhumane.
I started my career 24 years ago as an English/ESL (English Second Language) teacher. I stopped teaching full time to raise my daughter; then worked as a substitute teacher, SAT Prep teacher and tutor, and finally, as an Instructional Assistant for Special Education students. Over the course of my career, I met and worked with junior and senior high school students (as well as their parents!) from all walks of life, from all over the world, of all socioeconomic and academic levels. I definitely saw young people at their best and worst.
One thing I noticed, however, particularly in the past ten years or so, was the deterioration of thorough research. You may accuse me of being an old-fashioned fuddy duddy, but I do believe that a reliance on technology has made it harder for young people to think for themselves. They are googling answers. They are looking at memes as if they were encyclopedias, they are leaning more and more on information that is from who knows who or where. They are spending too much time on social media. Adding fuel to the fire, young people also have an innate desire to belong to a group, or a cause, and can easily fall prey to the algorithm herd mentality.
I have been watching the news, just like most of us, these past few weeks. I have been struck by the lack of pure factual knowledge that is being presented as truth. It breaks my heart to see youth protesting on colleges (institutions of higher learning?) and chanting to exterminate an entire race of people…namely the Jews. No matter what you think about the situation in the Middle East, for college students to resort to that barbaric level is disturbing on so many levels. I know, too, that the Holocaust is taught in high schools. I went with my students on field trips to the Museum of Tolerance. What did these young people learn, if anything at all?
Prior to these recent circumstances, however, I noticed how increasingly difficult it was for students to open a text book, look for information, and actually think about the information they were researching. I’m talking here about a basic educational skill: OPENING A TEXTBOOK. I was in history and English classes, so I can say without a doubt, many students have become lazy. They rely heavily on quick answers that they can google in a minute or two, rather than taking their time and searching for information. I can’t tell you how many times I had to help students find information that was right in front of them.
I could go on and on about the failings of the educational system that enables students, that is so litigious that teachers and administrators are afraid of their own shadows, and for standardized tests that homogenize curriculum to the nth degree. Teachers can’t determine what books to teach anymore or go off course of what is prescribed by their respective district policies. Poetry, for instance, where students search for metaphors and deep meanings, where nuance is magical, is barely existent. At least from what I have seen.
My cautionary tale to parents is this: ask questions of your children. Lots and lots of questions. Why do they have the opinions they have? Where and from whom did they get these opinions? Hold them accountable for what they say and do. Make them think for themselves and not as a collective body. Even better, research with them and set an example. Explore both sides of the question — the pros and cons — and come to an understanding not based on a one second story that may or may not be true on Tik Tok, X or Instagram. Raise your intellectual standards and raise your children’s standards. Also, turn off your phones as a family and read more books. Discuss the books.
The adage that our kids grow up too fast is so true. In a blink of an eye they are off in the world as adults making decisions and fending for themselves. They will make mistakes. We, as parents, will make mistakes, too. Nobody is perfect here. But the ability to think, to pause and weigh facts could impact not only their life, but the life and well being of others.
Most Sincerely,
Cheryl Thatt-Burbank
Cheryl Thatt-Burbank 