Happy almost summer solstice! I hope everyone is ready to enjoy the warmer days ahead with plenty of sunblock, mosquito repellent and lemonade. Perhaps an exotic summer adventure is planned? A dear friend is planning her second (!) safari in Africa! Last year she saw elephant, cheetahs, leopards, cute puppy hyenas and big ol’ lions. A lion walked right next to her open jeep!
Over here at the Sahara Valencia, we are on an opossum, skunk and racoon safari. We are also busily watering our plants, pulling weeds and watching the afternoon shadows stretch across the backyard lawn. Wrangling our three cats is a treacherous daily activity; and my husband, a semi-retired pool maintenance man, is actively battling algae. The little green organism is very fond of warm water at the exact same time as families are on vacation and want to swim daily in aforementioned water. In other words, the excitement at our house never ends!
However, regardless of obligations, summer seems to me like the perfect season to indulge in those items on your to-do list that are “wants” rather than “shoulds.” I think spring is more apt for the “shoulds” such as decluttering and deep cleaning your home, tending the tired, winter-worn garden, and preparing for the upcoming warmer months. Teachers and students are busy preparing for finals. Birds are nesting, bees pollinating. Spring is busy, busy, busy.
In our neck of the woods, summer gets very hot and once July and August hit, the days are eerily long and dry. If one does not get a good walk in by 10 am, it is too late until the early evening hours. So summer is a more relaxed season and gives us the opportunity to slow down and enjoy the fruits of our spring labor. It’s also a pause in the action. For once autumn hits, we are consumed once again with sweeping leaves, taking skeletons out of our closets and baking holiday cookies on an assembly line.
I have been giving a lot of thought lately about those things I want to do as compared to things I should or must do. I tend to be one of those people (namely, a mom) who puts my long list of SHOULDS and MUSTS ahead of all else. This summer I want to go to the beach…I want to visit more museums and gardens…I want to read and write more. I want to finally finish the memoir that I’ve been working on for the past two years, sigh. I want those “wants” to take center stage. I also want to remember what some of those wants actually are, lol.
Sometimes the lines differentiating wants and shoulds are blurred, however.
Take gardening: a lot of work that I not only want to do but also should do. The flowers blooming speak for themselves and make all of the potting and tending worth it. Going to the gym, too, is a hot mess of should and want. I want to get in shape and be strong. I aim to go to the gym at least three times a week, if not more. I’m averaging about twice a week, give or take. It is something I thoroughly enjoy doing once I get there, too…but on occasion I am either too busy or too lazy. I guess it comes down to those pesky priorities.
The lines are very blurred when it comes to parenthood, health and especially finances. I want this vacation to Italy vs. I should pay off my car. If you haven’t taken a vacation in a long time, maybe Italy will win. If paying off your car will give you more money for Italy down the road…
Even blogging is a hazy combination of want and should. I want to write because I love it, I feel better about myself and experience an inexplicable euphoria when I complete a blog or project. As any writer (or artist of any sort) can attest, it is a compulsion. Wanting to write is like half of your brain is pumped up on caffeine and wants to run a marathon, while the other half prefers licorice, popcorn and Netflix on a comfy sofa. Lately, the sofa brain has won out.
In essence, the word balance is the key to the long term, romantic marriage of should and want. We have to keep our bathrooms clean, just as we have to spend time doing the soul-stirring things that make us feel connected to our spirits. This summer, I am focusing on finding that middle ground. In doing so, the pendulum might swing in favor of solo artist’s dates and hours staring into space. I am looking forward to sipping sangria and watching the shadows saunter across the lawn…
Today, in fact, I have a lot of should tasks that I am putting off in favor of getting these words out into the world. Yes, I should go to the market right now and buy more litter and bags to collect cat pee and poo. I should tidy the house and pull more weeds. I should vacuum.
Instead of these chores, however, I’m choosing the luxury of finishing this blog. I might also go to a cafe soon and sip on some iced tea and read one of the books I just bought at the SCV Book Festival (yes, I’m shamelessly plugging this event, here!). Or I might do nothing but lounge in my backyard and watch the butterflies flit by, the hummingbirds drink nectar from our feeders, and the lizards climb walls.
It’s summer, and “the living is easy,” so the song goes.
Time to let the wants win out. The cats must be fed first, however.
Cheryl Thatt-Burbank 